It is an honor that you are here, Thank you!

Monday, September 19, 2016

September 18th I run.walk for them

Good morning friends,

Sunday September 18th has changed my life.

WHY? you ask

Well, on Sunday September 18th 2016, i participated in Canada's ARMY RUN in Ottawa Ontario, i needed a day to focus on the achievement that i have made. 

7 years ago, as you all know, I had a double lung transplant. It's nothing to scoff at, that's for sure. But as I stood at the starting line, waiting for the silent start, i looked around me, and saw Soldiers with prosthetic limbs, let me re-phrase that, i saw HEROES with Prosthetic limbs. And i thought to myself, these selfless men and women fought pretty damn hard to get where they are today, and so did I. It was an honour to race amongst them, it was an honour to race for them. #ArmyRun
Starting line rumble!  Yeah they all ran by me!

I finished the race in 59 minutes and 43 Seconds. I personal best for me, because I have never done a 5K for a reason since transplant. I will get stronger, and I wore my #RockCF shirt with pride. My time would have been faster had I not stopped to shake the hands of every Soldiers along the way.
It meant something to me, knowing that while I was running with all these wonderful people, that the money raised is going somewhere good.  It is helping Military families in Canada who have gone through the imaginable, losing limbs, losing family.
I have always felt the need to serve my country, in some way.  Military was always a first choice for me, since joining the Army Cadets in 1992.  I did well, love the discipline and the reaction I felt when I did the unthinkable.  I was denied access to the 2 week camp my first summer, I was devastated, but with perseverance, some letters from my Phys. Ed teacher Mr. Gatien, a letter from my Doctor at the CF clinic, and i was there.  Stunning them all with ow awesome I was.
Now I venture on a new project, since 2001, after the WTC came crashing down on New York, my calling came to me in the form of Policing or Firefighting. I am working on it!

Back to the Run!

Haming it up for the camera guy!
I have never cried at the National anthem before, at least for a good reason. But on Sunday, I couldn't keep the tears in, knowing so many families are depending on my donation and contribution.  I ran for some of my great friends, my high school buddy Grant, who serves in Petawawa, and a new friend Mike Ieropoli who is also serving it Petawawa.  I ran in honour of SD&G native Sgt. Marc Leger who served with Princess Patricia's Canadian Light Infantry and served our country until April 17th 2002.
It benefits me to know that his contributions have not gone un-noticed, that all their hard work doesn't fall the side lines, it's people like me, and the over 25000 runner, in the 5K alone, who run for these brave men and women.
I will keep on keeping on, knowing that in Canada, we sleep at night, we wake up in the morning to the sound of birds chirping, and in my case Geese honking.  I thank them for giving me the time to reflect without the sounds of bombs going off in the distance.

Dear Canadian Forces... WE GOT YOUR 6

Tuesday, August 23, 2016


In order to generate more views to my Blog, I think I need to change my tactics.  Should I write about the story of me, looking for work, looking for that one opportunity to change into someone i can be even more proud of than I already am?  Should I look into going back to school, to venture into something completely different from the everyday monotony of my life?

I work only 2 days a week, in Administration, I have had 4 interviews for positions and have been told by all of them that I am Quote "OVER QUALIFIED" and end up not getting the job.  My husband works like a mad man, and I sometimes feel that I am not pulling my weight. I want to make money, I want to work a full time job, in whatever.  Heck, even Lowe's didn't hire me.  WHAT?!


I have applied to countless number of jobs, simple Customer Service jobs, where all i do is greet and direct... results... NOTHING!  

Maybe I should start me own business... but in what?  And how will I get the money to start said business.  I love photography, but they are a dime a dozen here, getting jobs by reputation, photo quality and pricing.  I an not professional, by any means, I don't have the newest camera in the world, I have a beautiful SONY Alpha first generation, that is starting to show it's age.  To buy a new one, would cost between $500 - $1000 dollars, and that doesn't include the lenses.

Where have all the good jobs gone... let me tell you, they have all gone overseas where they don't pay nearly what they deserve for the shit that get's thrown a them.  I don't know what to do, where to go or even how to start over.

No one said life was easy, but they also don't tell you that when you have great work ethic, and a tonne of experience, that the guy interviewing you will tell you that you are over qualified.  They don't prepare you for the job you want, or the job you need.  Life does not prepare you for the let down, the turn down and the refusals.

If I could make money off of writing my blog, Lord knows I would.

So, I will keep applying to jobs, whether I am over qualified for them or not.  I just want to contribute to society as normal human being, who can do the job.  I know how much you are offering to pay me, or I wouldn't have applied.  I am not going to dispute what you can pay, or I wouldn't have applied.  Don't interview me, or interview me, it's your choice.  The worst thing someone can do after you apply is having them tell you, "If we don't call you, it's because we have gone a different way"  Screw you, call the people you interview a let them know they didn't get the job. 



Tuesday, March 22, 2016

New Beginnings...

Good morning sunshine,

On this day, the cold has me cooped up indoors.  I will leave the house today for Chinese food.

I long for the heat of the sun on a beautiful summer day, the cool of the summer nights wrapped around me, enjoying an open flame fire in the comfort of my backyard.

I relish the days I wake up to another Sunrise.  Something many take for granted.  Given my history within the humid summer days, I do not look forward to those.  I have come across some interesting facts about who I want to be, and what I want to pursue in my life.  I long for the employment for which I can assist another in their ventures.  Counsel, they say, greet and guide they told me.  To counsel in health, in love, in money or in future i don't know.

I want to guide you to a path of reassurance, that you are someone, you matter to someone, you are breathing because of someone.  You are who you are, because two people fell in love and created the being that is you. You hold your standards high... for what?  For whom?  When you set the bar too high, you'll never find what you are searching.  

Set reasonable goals, they say...  

Goals are meant to be achieved, and new goals are meant to be created on a daily basis.  I have yet to reach my ultimate goal... I;m getting there, one page at a time,one day at a time.  I have my whole life... or do I?  You don't know when it's your time, so reach for the stars, achieve and master something, anything.   Photography, Counselling, Finance, Social Success...

When you Master at one thing, you can excel in others.  You don't get to where you want to be by wading in the shallow end of the pool.  Swim to the deep end, dive in and embrace the things your good at. When you reach that milestone, create a foot hole for another.  You are always learning, always absorbing something.

Listen to the music that energizes your brain waves of creativity.  Look deep into yourself and seek the person you want to become.  When you see that person, wake up thinking, today is the day.  If it turns out to be a slow and obstacle ridden day, over come it by being better than the obstacle in front of you.  Look it in the eye and tell it 

"Today is my day, you will not interfere with who I am meant to be.  You will teach me, and guide me.  but you will not rule me"~Alison Proulx 2016

Listen to your heart, and guide with your soul.  For it truly knows where you are meant to go.  Follow the voice inside you, it will not steer you wrong.

To start is the hardest part, the biggest obstacle.  once you have begun, you have no choice but to continue on with what truly energizes your soul.  do what you do best, make that your goal.  Hold true to who you are, what you stand for and when your boat arrives, get on it and cruise through your destiny. 

Cause this is your Destiny.

Monday, February 22, 2016

It's Indie Film Day


The thought of a life where everything can be solved in an hour and a half to two.
A love story, a midnight massacre, a story of truth, lies and betrayal.

I am an Indie film junkie.

I love the whole idea of independent films.  The stories of love aren't all sunshine and unicorns.  They are big, they are simple, they are messy and they are in essence as real as they are going to get.  No they don't all take place in a house by the ocean.

They take place in middle town New York, or Oneida, anywhere that is in the big bad real world.

"The Girl in the Book" (2015)  

The story of a writer's daughter who works in a publishing house as an assistant, in hopes of becoming a well known editor.  An author befriends her as a child, and writes about their experiences together.  Her life is full of ups, but mostly downs.  At first I started to become very angry with the style of the film. The story behind the father's writing friend... Not to be viewed with children in the room.  Written & Directed by Marya Cohn.

"Set in the world of New York publishing, a young book editor is forced to confront a troubling chapter from her past when a bestselling author re-enters her life." - IMDB

"Like Sunday, Like Rain" (2014)

A more realistic version of a Nanny Diaries type film.  Girl needs a change becomes a Nanny to a very gifted young boy, who is also a child prodigy playing the Cello.

The relationship between the Nanny, and the boy is a more realistic approach.  The boy is wise beyond his year.  The Boy's name is Reggie played by Justin Shatkin, the Nanny Eleanore is played by Leighton Meester, the mother Batbata is played by Debra Messing.  It's a beautiful film, for all ages.  Written and Produced by Frank Whaley.

"Surrounded by wealth and living with abundant resources in Manhattan, 12-year-old cello prodigy Reggie, lives a solitary life lacking only frequently absent parents and friends. Estranged from family, having slacker boyfriend troubles, and fired from her waitressing job, sometimes musician 23-year-old Eleanor needs a new place to live and a new job." - IMDB



Thursday, August 6, 2015

Reaching out

As i sit  on my couch, watching aimlessly into the dysfunction that is my day, I am reading about things going on in life. And you know what I noticed, Every single article that comes up on my Facebook news feed is negative. 

So let's light up the screens with a little happiness.

I have recently, like 10 minutes ago, have been reading the blog of the one and only Jeremy Roloff from Little People Big World.  He is a photographer, and Reality TV show star.  But his photography is a story all in it's own.  I follow his work pretty closely, checking to see what new stuff he comes up with.  I have a bad habit of looking at other works of art and try to make a similar experience through my own lenses.  Taking pictures calms my soul, journalism and reading make for a really relaxing weekend.  I don't get much done, but I still love to do it.

For example, I have a paper journal, that allows me to make some pretty imaginative pages, it's like scrap-booking, or making a graphic novel. I use colours, images, quotes, bible verses and pictures that I have taken, read, found and sometimes even song lyrics.  It's a form of release and reflection on my life.

Going to back to Jeremy Roloff's blog, he makes mention of a phrase he and his bride Audrey had come up with while they were courting in a long distance relationship.  It's "Braid it".  I don't intend to use the phrase, and if I do maybe that is a good thing.  But here is their explanation for the phrase "Braid it"

Photo credit
"Think about the structure of a braid, it has three strands. The third strand is what holds a braid together. Without it you would be left with a twist, which is easy unraveled. The third strand is the most important, and is imperative to keep all three intertwined." 

- Jeremy & Audrey Roloff 

What a brilliant phrase, and if you think about it, a braid is never ending, it keeps holding things together, until you untie it.  A braid can be any size, a braid can be beautiful, messy and simple.  A braid like a soul can be complicated it can easily be unraveled, or tightly kept together.  It can be simple and doesn't show any wear or tear.  A braid can a be it's own story, telling the tales of someone who has been through it all, and nothing at the same time. It can be manipulated to become something spectacular.  


Tuesday, February 10, 2015

It's that time again...

Hey there friends,

It's that time of year again.  Yep, my Lungaversary. 6 glorious years.

I had a notion to do some research on deaths in Ontario on the 16th of February 2009, or in and around that time.  But I haven't done this as of yet.  I had this whole wonderful event planned on the 16th of February this year, because every day follows on the same day of my transplant 6 years ago.

 If I can get just a few people to indulge me and be a part of something that is so important to me, would be the making of a wonderful event.  But there have been no response to my request that I have made. I wanted people to write a little note, a sentiment, a bible verse, a quote anything to thank them for their selflessness and their strong hearts be be able to donate their loved ones to complete strangers.

Is this too much to ask?

It must be because no one has even given me a simple answer as to why they will or wont.  Not even my best friends are going to participate in this event, and that truly hurts. But if they asked me to do something I am there without a question.  I guess I am asking something too personal, maybe not everyone is for Organ donation, if that's the case, then how are we even friends?  I am breathing and living today because of a family that believed that their loved one will live on a little longer.  I am so confused!

I honestly thought that this was something we all shared, and could be a part of.  But I guess i was surly mistaken on that one.

Why doesn't anyone see how much this means to me?  Am I the only one who is so thankful that i would give up my life for anyone that needed my organs when I die. You know I was hoping that this was going to be a good blog today, but it has just really upset me, that I don't think I can write any more.

So for as long as i am alive, I will cherish the lungs that were so generously donated to me.  I will guard them with my life, protect them at all cost, and do whatever deemed necessary to give these beautiful lungs the live the previously owner, should be living.  Well in order for my life to prevail, I should not rely on anyone but myself to thank God and my donor family for what they have given me.  Because some days, I feel as though I am the only one fighting this battle.

I will celebrate on my own this year.  And should anyone feel it necessary to wish me a good day then that's fine.  but it's not just my day, it's also my other family's day.  The should get the same amount of respect from my friends and family, as they give me.

Good night Blogland


Sunday, December 21, 2014


This blog is dedicated to my donor family
and the events that will transpire from now 
until February 2015.

This year I have decided to make a  
Thank you Scrapbook/Memory box.

I had this idea last year, but didn't implement the tools to get it done.  So I sent out feelers on Face book, to see who would participate, and to my chagrin quite a few people have responded.  I am hoping that I have made it easy for everyone to either send me their letters or to come down for the party we will have for my Donor.  Now tell me if this sounds stupid, but what if I were to have a THANK YOU sign, and get everyone's family to hold it take their picture and include it in their letter.  do you think that would break confidentiality for me, or do you think that if I were to do that then they would see a face, and maybe want to meet up with me.  I don't know if this is a wish that most likely won't come true.

I found this picture that really makes sense to me right now.  What do you think? It's as though the Angel I envision my donor to be, is embedded into the heavens.  I have been all about Angels recently, I know my donor is an angel, I need to find the perfect image of who I think they are.  So I am going to post a couple and if you guys don't mind let me know which you think is best, I want to find the perfect Angel for the cover to the Thank you Box/Scrapbook.  Here's the next one.

I found a feather the other day in my dining room.  I had bought feathers not long ago, but never used them, I had returned them and then suddenly out of no where this perfect feather, and I mean perfect, just appeared.  I think I might just look for feathers and not angels.  I will find some images that have a meaning to me when I see it.

On a lighter note, I am also in the market for a pin-up angel.  Wonder if they exist? NOPE they don't.

So if anyone here, who knows me and wishes to thank my donor also, you are more than welcome.  there are some rules though.

1) No names, mine or yours
2) No gender notification, can't tell them I'm a girl
3) Can't tell them where i am from
4) Refer to my Donor family or Donor and such or "They"
5) Do not tell them what organs I received

Send me a message and I will send you the address as to where you can send the letters.

Well, I am off for a little while, have stuff to do.  I'll be back tonight with another blog about... well I don't know yet.

Love you all.

Kisses and Hugs