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Friday, January 23, 2009

Another step closer...

I can't believe I am awake at 6:30 in the morning. But it's like I said before, when you start thinking about what your are going to blog about next, you have to either do it now, or it will stir in your head for a long time, and you will never get back to sleep.

I was told some great news yesterday. I have made it one step closer to my goal of a wonderful new life. No, I haven't gotten the call for new lungs just yet, but I have gotten the call about a bed becoming available in Toronto. Yep, you heard it first here folks, I will be moving to my new home. For the next little while I will be a Torontonian, I am not 100% happy about, seeing as I hate big cities. They are too fast, to loud and most importantly, NOT HOME!

I talked to my most wonderful and understand hubby about this, and all I could think about was that my family, who are the most important people to me and a huge part of who I am, won't be able to visit me on a whim, like they kind of can now. Now, not only will I be anticipating the call to a new life with clean, clear new lungs, I will be worrying about the distance my family has to travel when when visiting me. I will worry about them when they drive up, if they are driving alone, what if they get into a car accident, what if the weather isn't clear. Then once they are here, I will be worrying about whether or not they will get home safely, and again the weather and the accidents.

When I am supposed to be the most excited, I think I will be the most nervous too. Not for me by any means, I have been ready for this since I did the Assessments two years ago, but for the people who will want to see me. Catch 22 I guess.

I have mixed emotions when it comes to leaving. I want to stay so I can see anyone at any time, but I want to go. I want to go so bad, that I can't imagine how I couldn't possibly be excited. I think I am going to have to think for myself for once, and not worry about what others have to do to be with me. I have to stop thinking about the "what if's".

Another day and another step closer to my new life. Wow, all this in one week, and I couldn't be happier.